HAPPY FALL!!!

The Process

Carry On

Hush my darling

Hush my love

The storm will pass

And show the stars above

Your dreams will last

Through the dark and through the night

Carry on my love

You will soon see the light

Hope may fade

Carry on and be brave

Love will shine bright

And cut through the night

There is no black and white, only shades of grey.

My Weekend Prodject

Who I Am

I am one, but there are three in me.  Most days two fight for dominance, and, depending on my mood, the second one may win.  I am three, three crammed into one.

I am the book-worm, the quiet girl in the library no one knows is there.  I am intelligent, creative, and shy.  I think about my second personality, wishing I could have the courage to let it out more often, but I know that would not be very smart.

You see, my second personality is the classic rebel, not giving a dam what people think about me and making a difference, whether in my life, someone else's, or the wold.  Sometimes this personality will slip out when I am with my friends or under high stress situations.  This is my most dangerous personality, but not the one I keep most hidden.

Deep down, I am a dreamer.  I believe in unicorns, angels, leprechauns and a pot of gold waiting at the end of a rainbow.  I believe in true love, fairy tale endings, and that magical kiss in the rain.  I believe there is a place where there is no war, no suffering, no death.  I believe in magic; I believe anything I am told.

My third personality, you might say is a naive child who has not yet been taught what to believe.  No.  It is a child, but I would say she has not yet been tainted by the horrors of this world.  She had not been touched by stereotypes, racism, sexism, dirty minds of teenagers, the degrading mental state of America - she is PURE.  She is INNOCENT.  She is my soul.

My first, I let show.  My second, a strong desire I sometimes cannot control.  My third, who I truly am.

Happy Fourth of July: Remember the Sacrifices

            He sighed in relief as the last of the signers lifted his feather from the paper.  “Thank you; I must take this strait to General Washington,” Thomas said.

            “Are you leaving now?” the other man asked.

            He nodded, heading for the door.  His heart was pounding in his chest.  They were all under heavy surveillance and this was to be the hardest leg of his journey.  It was all up to him; the fate of the new world rested in the hands of Thomas Jefferson.  “If I should make it before dawn I must leave now.”

            “Very well.  For freedom,” the man said as he opened the door for one of the greatest founders of America.

            “For independence.”  It ends tonight.  There will be liberty.  “Farewell, my friend,” Thomas said, mounting his horse and taking off into the night with only a single ambition in his mind.

            “Goodbye, and Godspeed.  May God save us all,” he whispered after him.

Open Eyes

            My friend asked me the other day, “What do you live for?”  You see, we were in a theological discussion at the time and I had told him that what I believe differs from his beliefs.  Upon finding that I did not have the same idea of God that he does, he asked me that question.  I didn’t have the words to tell him that night.  So this is for you.  This is what I live for.

            A man named Robert Cody once said, “Have courage to live.  Anyone can die.”  I live for my potential, my dreams.  I live for what I can be, how I can change the world.  I live to do something with my life, to truly be alive.  I told him I live for my family, my dog.  But I am selfish.  They can survive without me.  I live for my future and what I want to accomplish.  I want to make a change; what I see today disgusts me.  We live in steel cages.  We avert our eyes from the sight of the poor.  Our government is corrupt and lying.  But we...we are naïve, blindfolded, and trusting as a newborn.  I want to open the world’s eyes.  I want to show you everything.  But I don’t know how.  I live to find out how.  I live for Freedom.  For Justice.  For Truth.  I live for open eyes.

A Dream?

            The cool cement was rough against my bare feet as I walked alone in darkness. The normally brilliantly decorated sky was covered by a thick layer of clouds and the streetlights stood out in harsh comparison.  The sprinkling rain enveloped me, eventually soaking m through, but I didn't mind.  A firefly blinked in and out of existence across the street.  Standing still for a moment I closed my eyes and listened.  I don’t think anyone realizes, but the forest is just as alive at night as it is in the day.  It seemed to whisper to itself as the gentle breeze moved through the branches and dropped dew from their leaves.  There were two frogs by the pond harmonizing with the crickets.

As I opened my eyes, I noticed a tall figure in the shadows.  I hesitated to call out to him; how dare I interrupt the night?  How could I?  I didn't belong here I belong in the light.  Instead, I took a few steps closer standing under the streetlamp.  In turn, he stepped forward revealing himself.  His hair was dark brown and curled about his ears.  His eyes were a darker shade yet they seemed to twinkle as brightly as the stars absent from the sky.  “I have never seen a girl more beautiful,” his voice whispered to me.  “Please tell me you are not an angel, or else I would have to lose you to God.  But you must be, for surely a mortal as beautiful has never existed.”

“I assure you,” I told him, “I am completely mortal.  But are you?  I fear my heart may be deceiving me and this is all a dream.”

“No, my love, I am real,” he said taking my hand.  Placing my other on his cheek, I stared deep into his eyes.

“My God, you are real,” I whispered beside myself.  I have often dreamed of men like him only to be heartbroken when I awoke.  His free arm had draped itself across my hip and his hand rested against my lower back.  I could feel a tingling sensation through the fabric of my dress where his hand touched. 

Pressing himself closer to me, he smiled, his eyes taking in my face.  Leaning his head down towards me, he stopped inches from my lips as if asking permission.  I raised my head towards him in response, and he brought our lips together in gentle caresses. 

We stood under that light and talked together the sky stared to lighten and I told him I needed to go.  “But I must see you again!” 

“Walk me home,” I said smiling up at him, and he gladly followed.  Our hands fit together like puzzle pieces, I noticed as we walked up my driveway.  I told him to wait at the door as I snuck in to find a pen.  He didn't said a word as I wrote my number on the palm of his hand.  “Will I see you soon?” I asked.

“Absolutely.”  He leaned down for one last kiss before running off back into the shadows.

I shrink away from turning the light on now, for it means the night is truly over, but if I do not write this down I fear I will wake again only to find a broken heart.  I will see you soon my love.  Soon.

The Beast Below

            He could feel the tension in the air around him as the crew prepared for his dive.  His whole life had come to this; it’s what he had been preparing for since birth.  Today was his day.  As he gazed past the camera crew and to the horizon, he remembered all the years he spent in training, all the days studying and practicing, all the moments he thought about quitting.  And to think, he only got the gig of his life because of a little computer chip, a tracker.

            A group of scientists had been monitoring a nine-foot great white somewhere in the Pacfic.  Apparently where was a blip in the data, then it appeared that the shark had died.  However, when they found the tracker washed up on the coast of Australia, there was no shark, dead or alive.  So, here he was at the location of the blip.  Most likely, there will be nothing there; if it was a “sea monster” it would have moved on by now.  But, after the scientists had lost another shark in this area, they decided this was its hunting ground.  At least, that’s what he thought they said.  They used words too big for his mind to comprehend; he was in it for the dive of his life, not the data.

            So anyway, there he was on the deck of the vessel, staring out into the distance reminiscing when they told him it was time to go.  He would never admit it, but his heart started to race as he put on the suit; what if something went wrong?  What if it ate him?

            As the designated time approached, he took his position on the edge of the deck.  “Three, two…NOW!”  He felt himself sinking in the pressure suit as the water engulfed him.  Finally, he was home.  The fears that had choked him on the deck seemed to wash away with the tide.  On the deck, he couldn’t seem to remember his objectives, but now the water cleared his mind and he could focus again.

            Switching on the light on his helmet, he gazed at his surroundings.  He had not yet sunk down to the cliff where he was supposed to be.  “Tommy.  Tommy, you read?”

            “Copy.  Not on the cliff yet – maybe thirty for forty more feet,” he said into the mic taped to the inside of his helmet.  A few sharks glided past as he kept sinking closer to the shelf.  He watched a school of fish swimming towards him.  They parted like the Red Sea around him and he found himself encased in a bubble of fish.  Finally, he was able to call up to the boat that he had hit the cliff.  “How much cord do I have left?” he asked.

            “About…one and a half miles,” one of the crew replied.

            “Is that enough to make it down to the next cliff?” he asked.

            There was a slight pause before the next answer came through, “Yeah, there should be just enough.”

            “Good, ’cause there’s nothing here,” he said looking around again.  Just rock.

            It would have looked like a slow motion movie if you saw him propel himself off the cliff; the water held him back.  He began to slowly sink again, and suddenly the cliff fell away to reveal a cave in the rock face.  “Guys, did you know there’s a cave here?”

            “A what?!”

            “A cave, damit, a cave!”  He was ashamed to say he was losing his cool.  If they didn’t know there was a cave, what else didn’t they know?  He had jumped on this offer as soon as they gave it to him; it was one of the best dives of the century.  But his brother had warned him to research it first, know the company.  Now he could be about to die.

            The static in his mic flared again as one of the men came back on, “Sorry, we didn’t have the cave there.  We had it as being filled…the computers say it’s filled now.”

            “What do you mean filled?” he asked as he touched down on the rock, his voice wavering slightly.  The light on his helmet couldn’t penetrate the darkness of the cave. 

            “Damit, the computer says there’s no cave there Tommy!  It’s filled!” the voice said.

            “Well, shit.”  Suddenly, the was a great rumbling beneath his feet that shook him to his core.  “You guys feel that?”

            “We’ve got huge waves up here -- is it, Tommy?” the voice cut out.

            “Hello?!” he desperately called up.

            “--ommy!”

            “Tell my brother I love him!” he said.  He could feel himself being pulled back up to the boat.  The rumbling grew as he was ever so slowly pulled up.  Then something burst from the cave. 

            The only word he could use to describe it was “huge.”  Fucking huge.  It reminded him slightly of the Chinese water dragon myths.  It looked like a giant eel at least forty feet long with gills stretching four feet along its neck.  Its body was covered in greenish-blue shimmering scales and it had slit nostrils at least a foot long and flaring at the metal smell of his suit.  There were no eyes to speak of on its head, but just looking at its jaws could kill you.  Each tooth was about a foot and there were three rows that he could see.  Coming out from behind the first gill were three tentacle-like structures trailing behind it.  Above these was a six-inch hole which must have been its ear. 

“PULL ME UP -- FOR GOD’S SAKE PULL ME UP!” he screamed, his voice breaking and cracking over and over as he sob the phrase repeatedly.  The cord began pulling him up as fast as the machine on the boat would let it.  As the creature lunged toward his feet, mouth open, he pulled his legs up to his chest as the cord pulled him out of the way.  He could feel the shock as the massive jaws snapped shut just behind him.  He could see the light begin to flicker through the water as he got closer and close to the surface.  Soon he was able to hear the radio communications again.

“Tommy, we’re getting you up.  There was a cave there!  Something was in it!”

“NO SHIT!” he screamed into the mic. 

“Tommy, I–”

“No, shut up.  Listen – this thing is coming up behind me.  You need to get the motor ready,” he said, his voice surprisingly more steady.

“To–”

“NOW!”  With one last yank from the crew aiding the machine, Tommy was flung out of the water, curving through the air.  He could feel himself hit the deck and quickly took his helmet off. 

“Tommy–”

“Not now.  Start the engine!  GO, GO!”  Just in time, the ship jumped forward.  Half of the monster’s body was propelled out of the water, mouth open ready to swallow the ship right where they had been anchored.  Now, the crew, frightened for their lives, helped dump unnecessary supplies over the railing or at the monster.  Eventually, they were able to lose it in the tide.

When they had gotten back to the base, no one believed them.  The doctors claimed it was dehydration or heat.  The scientists claimed that had no proof; the computer had been thrown off board.  Years later, many members of the crew had taken residence in mental institutions, others had committed suicide.  Tommy gave up his passion of diving, vowing never to swim again.  To this day he lives in fear of the monster, afraid of taking a shower as if it might crawl out of the pipes.  

The Disease I Call Love

You caught the disease

The disease with no cure

Thank God it’s not contagious

Scarier than the best horror movie

I pray for you

Hope for the cure

But I know when it dies

It leaves only scars

Wish you could be pure again

Wish you could be normal

It scares me what you do for it

How it makes you feel

Some learn to live with it

But only very few

Hope you can be lucky

Keep it close and new

Most have it ripped from them

It never truly dies

Lives in the scars it leaves

There is no cure

Wish this thing never existed

Wish we could be at peace

But now all you talk about is him

All you can see is his face

This is what it does to you

This is how it’s fatal

It destroys who you are

Replaces you with thoughts of him

But sometimes, God save me

I wish it was contagious

Wish I could suffer with you

Suffer in your bliss

I wish I could feel that happiness you live with

Wish I could have someone like him

Most dream of it since they were young

Most don’t realize they romanticize it

They don’t realize what it really is

What love is

It destroys

But it also creates

There is good and bad to everything in the universe

I cannot think of any example

More deserving

Than love

Years I Lost To You

I slipped up today
Called her you

She stared blankly into my eyes
Asked who you were

I could not say anything
My throat was too dry

How can you stand
Living with the way we went

How can you not come back
Knowing I'm still here

I miss you
Want you back

But I won't go
You need to come

My pride is in the way
You were the one

You should apologize
I did nothing wrong

Why did you fight
What did I do

Petty things sometimes
Can end the wonderful

Then I think
What if we had never met

Stuck together for years
No choice but to be friends

If the school was bigger
I wonder if we would even have talked

Cruel tricks of fate
That led me to lose you

We were young and naive
Yet I miss you still

I think of you often
They would try distracting me if they knew

Thinking now
Our friendship was never ideal

Yet I wish we could have ended it gentler
Fights leave scars

We met on the street
I tried conversation

If not required by norm
I would have run

You seemed fine
You hide it better than I

Or maybe you are whole
I was the one left with the broken heart

A part of me will always belong to you
But now I need to let go

I will never forget you
But I need you to know I forgive you

Please
Don't forget me

They don't know
I cannot tell them

So I must tell you
Everything

I'm not asking for you to fix me
Just understand

It could never have worked
Yet I still find myself crying

I'm sorry

even the color purple reminds me of you

[This was adapted using Photoshop; I do not have the original photo to cite.]

Fairytale Night

“I want to show you something.”  He pulled me along toward the beach where we had watched the children play this afternoon. 

“What is it?” I asked curiously, trying not to trip on any tree roots as we hurried through the forest toward the sand.  When he ignored me, I called after him, “Hey!” 

“Hush.”  After a few minutes of dodging trees and jumping over the grabbing hands, he suddenly stopped in front of me causing me to slam into him. 

“OW!  Damit!  What the hell?”  Turning back to me, still ignoring me, he pulled a bandanna out of his pocket and reached out for me.  Trusting him, I did not move my head, only asked “What’s this for?”  Silence.  Now, instead of rushing through the forest, he lead me slowly forward until the dry leaves and scratchy twigs were transformed into cool, soft sand that crept it’s way between my toes.  After a few more steps, we stopped and I felt him orient me in a certain direction.  Without my sight, my other senses became sharper; there was a soft wind caressing my cheek and a salty sent assaulting my nostrils. 

“Why are we back at the beach?” I asked him as a section of the cloth hung down, tickling my nose. 

“You talk too much,” he muttered next to my ear.  I could feel his breath warming the back on my neck as he slowly untied the bandanna.  When I opened my eyes, my breath stopped.

What was once golden sand warming in the sun had been transformed into my dreams; the entire beach was glowing a soft aqua-marine.  Everywhere I looked was glowing.  When the bright waves washed over the sand, the glowing intensified, then dulled only to be lifted again with the next wave.  Then, when I took a step forward, the beach would pulse under my foot like how it was acting with the waves.  A smile broke across my face as I took another step, then another.  Soon I found myself dancing across the sand, kicking up the glowing grains.  I felt his body close to mine as he wrapped his arms around my waist and started dancing with me.  Our laughter cut through the cricket’s song surrounding us as we spun together into the night.

Dream

“When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up.  I wrote down ‘happy.’  They said I didn’t understand the assignment.  I told them they didn’t understand life.”

-          John Lennon

If you look at the big picture, this statement could not be truer.  How many people do you know who are not happy?  How many divorced?  How many in a midlife crisis?  There is a common phrase, “Do what you love and you will never work a day in your life.”  I feel that this quote also applies here.  Both my parents gave up on their dreams; one for a boy and the other for money.  Now, they are both middle-aged, with two teenage kids, and a dog.  They are second guessing.  My mother went back to school to get her nursing degree.  She is different than the new generation.  She cares.  She is not there because it is an easy job that pays decently.  She is there because she wants to be.  When go with her to work, the residents tell stories of how caring she is; they make me cry.  My dad always wanted to be a teacher, but his father convinced him not to, telling him that it wouldn't pay well and he needed to support a family.  Well, he’s going back to school for his degree now.  When he visited a classroom for the challenged, he told us stories of how he would work with one child until they had figured something out, but when he went bad the next day, she had forgotten.  He works so well with these children.  So do what you love.  Don’t back down.  Don’t give up.  I’m rooting for you…for all of you who have dreams.  

Go get it.

Drums

Drums

The beat

The adrenaline

Drums

The beat

The adrenaline

Otherwise silence

Drums

The beat

The adrenaline

Otherwise silence

The blood

It was glorified

Respected

No

Not really

Not here

There is no glory here

Back home there is glory for us

Here only gore

Killing the innocent

Murdering those

For what

I have lost our cause

I have not lost faith in the cause

There is no cause

There is only blood

Only slaughter

Our cause

Those of liars

Those of hypocrites

Those of the devil

I cannot fight

Yet I am forced to

Forced to kill the innocent

The brainwashed children

They are scared

I am scared

Help us

Stop this

War

There is no glory

No heroism

Only blood

Save us

End this

All I see is blood

All I hear are drums

Drums

The beat

The adrenaline

Otherwise silence

The blood

Drums

The beat

The adrenaline

Otherwise silence

Drums

The beat

The adrenaline 

Only the drums

...

Help us

Image credit [http://www.theepochtimes.com/n2/images/stories/large/2009/12/16/fhood92980058.jpg]

Story of a Boy

I was a monster

Did things to people

Wouldn’t wish it on anybody

I was blind

Their faces would beg me to stop

I made their life hell

They called out to me

I was deaf

I never noticed the pain I was causing them

Even though to others is was evident

I did not have the empathy to stop

I could not feel

I did this to you

You forgave me

I did not understand

You helped me

You could see beyond what I knew

You saw I had a soul

You reached down into hell

And pulled me up

I remember when we first met

You sitting in the bleachers of the football stadium

The light shown on your hair just right

It looked like strands of gold

Even with my blind eyes, I could still see

The beauty you held

An angel

Cursed  to be stuck here

It was a public high school

Like the ones you see in movies

It had the nerds, the sluts, the Goths

You showed me there was more

You could reach through the boundaries

I always wondered

If you pulled others out as well

You were an angel cursed to hell

Some days I wondered what you had done

You were such a beautiful angel

Fallen from the sky

Was this your punishment?

When your work was done,

He took you back home

I wanted you to stay

Missed you

We were on a park bench

Sun was shining again

You hair was gold

I swear I could see your wings

Your words sounded like the singing of angels

The chorus of God calling me back

Your words opened my eyes

And I could hear, feel

We sat down and you told me to look

You showed me the stories behind the faces

I could hear their whispers

Telling me their points of view

We would do this all the time

You would sit me down

We would watch the world spin

And be at peace

There was a woman shopping with her daughter

Their faces told stories of stress and depression

The single mother who had younger children at home

And the girl who had to be strong when her mother could not be

There was a man sitting in a bus stop

The bus would come, but he wouldn’t leave

He had lost his job

Did not know how to tell his wife

There was even a dog tied to a bike rack

Staring into the door of a coffee shop

Waiting…just waiting

Trusting that his owner will come back

Then you showed me how to feel

It started before our first kiss

When I still had the tendency to focus on bad things

I thought I was going to get laid

You showed me I was wrong

When I made a move

You stopped me

Helped me gain self-control

We were alone in my house

My parents were somewhere

You brought over chick flicks

It was the first time I cried

Then you took me to a museum

Showed me how to feel the meaning behind the painting

The emotion in the sculpture

Then you showed me how to make my own

I didn’t have skills

But you showed me

Anything produced my human hands  that had a purpose

Is art

I had planned a motivational speech for you

When you were in the hospital

All written down

My mother’s purple stationary

I didn’t get a chance

You took my hand

Told me everything would be fine

Smiled

I came to support you

You supported me

Even with your last breath

Nothing you did was for yourself

It rained when you were buried

The perfect clique

I remember you loved cliques

Even though I despised them

But in the rain that day

As clique as it sounds

The water seemed to wash all the emotion

Except the raw pain

I think you’d be happy to know

That I changed

After He took you back

You completed your mission

The final act of your mission

Was to teach me how to deal with loss

Another clique

I didn’t get mad like I would of before

There was no hole in the wall

Left by my fist

I opened my soul to the world

Tried to embrace the fact that you were gone

So here’s to you

My redeemer

My savior

My own fallen angel

Thank you

You changed my life

I’d like you to know

What I’m doing now

I speak to teenage delinquents

Like I could’ve been

Try to open their eyes to the world

Let them feel

The most troubled

I’ll take on a walk

Sit them on a park bench

And tell them to look

You live on in them

Your message

What you taught me

Everything you stood for

You are immortal now

Your memory will never die

As long as they continue to live

And pass on the message

I love you

Angel

Never forget me

I’ll never forget you

A Letter

You don’t know me and you probably don’t care

But I like to think if you did, you would

So even though you’ll never read this

I’ll write it anyway

This is to you

My idol

My role-model

My imaginary best friend

You found me when I was lost

Brought me back from the pit I was in

You saved me from the heartbreak

And brought me back to life

A part of me knew I was missing

I didn’t know what

I didn’t realize that all I needed

Was a push in the right direction and some love

You are the one who brought me back

I was lost in music that was not mine

It hid my soul away

In a place I could not find

When I heard your voice

When you sang out your lines

It was like you were calling my name

Showing me what was mine

You brought me home

To the Chevy trucks

Homegrown meals

And backwoods muck

You took me back to the place I love

Where serenity and peace reign

I had been lost in the world

You showed me it wasn’t all a game

You see, I had forgotten the simplicity when she left

I put aside the slow, comforting beat and changed

I became a hip girl, disgusting but true

Your music saved me from the world and from her

So I want to take this opportunity to thank you

Though I know we will never meet

You changed my life

Don’t know how anyone else can compete

My friend brought me there

I cannot refuse her so I want

I have to say I was nervous

Thought she would fill my mind

But she wasn’t there that night

It was only you

You pulled me out

Don’t know what I could ever do

So thank you, Hunter

For showing me who I was

That I have a voice

That I can love

I hope others as lost as I

Can find their way home as well

Hunter Hayes

Thank you for saving me soul

[top two created using online photoshop]

Scar Tissue

Every child knows "Sticks and stones can break my bones, but names will never hurt me."  Well, grown-ups lie.  The words hurt more than the physical pain; the emotional effects leave deeper scars than a broken bone ever could.  Maybe that’s why grown-ups lie.  They've been hurt too many times, so all they are is scar tissue. 

We are different. 

We are young.

We are pure.

            We don’t have as many scars, so our eyes are not blind to what is around us.  We can see the good things, the bad things, the things grown-ups never pay attention to.  All they see is black and white while we can see in color.  We can’t tell them these things; the scar tissue has made them too stubborn and unyielding.  They refuse to see things our way.  When we try to explain

the hurt

the beauty

the happiness

            they refuse to open their eyes…or maybe they can’t.  I pity them.  I pity the grown-ups because they either will not or cannot see.  They walk through life blind, like walking through a forest with cloth over your eyes – eventually they will hit a tree.  Maybe that is why bad things happen – because grown-ups cannot see where they are going. 

When we walk we can see.

When we run we are free.

When we talk we are wise.

            I want to help them…the world.  I want to right the wrongs, show them the way…but I do not know how.  I do not know how and they refuse to listen.  It is so frustrating, not being heard – I feel as if I am invisible.  I am lost in a sea of grown-ups, cookie-cutter shapes made of scar tissue.  Help me.  I want to make a difference.  All this

frustration

lost hope

anger at the world

            these are my scars.  I am becoming one of them.  I refuse.  Help me.  please...

Hard

Albert Einstein once asked the question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or the others crazy? - Spencer Reid, Criminal Minds

It’s true.  The more I think about it, the more true it becomes.  No one seems to be able to see what I can, feel what I feel, feel what I feel.  No one can understand how I see the word and what I know.  Charles Epps once stated that it was so hard to have a thought so pure that you couldn't communicate it in words.  It’s so frustrating not to be heard, not to be able to speak your mind because you don’t know how.  I have stories and ideas, characters and locations, novels I play out in my head.  I want to be able to write so bad, but I can’t.  I can’t figure out how to put it into words.  How to descried the fearless prince charming, struggling teen on the street, or the young girl stuck in her own head.  Her head is the only escape for her.  Spencer Reid is afraid of his mind.  I can’t see this.  My mind is the only place of peace I have – the only place I can go to hide, to run.  It is how I cope with everything.  The world, my friends, family, stereotypes, everything that describes a human being – it’s where I can start over.  Build something completely from scratch and bring it to life.  Create something that someone else could never understand.  No one ever understands. 

[Charlie Epps is a character from the TV show Numb3rs]

[Spencer Reid is a character from Criminal Minds]